I think you missed my point or maybe I'm just not helping you at all. YOu sound really angry. It must be a very difficult situation you are in.
But you may be telling him exactly what you told me but delivery may be wrong? ARe you angry when you talk to him? Do you sound angry? Did he actually come out and say LL I really loved talking to the ow, I could hug on her, call her all the time just to talk, etc?
He must feel very inadequate in all areas except for sex. Most of us tend to gravitate toward what we do best so we don't feel bad about ourselves. Thus his preoccupation with sex.
Since he's moved home, you've only had one talk about your expectations? Maybe to revisit them would not be so bad...to at least tell him again how you need certain things from him.
I think your request of him are too vague (well some are) and they probably be need to be shorter and to the point such as "Let go to the movies every Monday night" or "I would like for us to go to the mall together on Saturdays"...men who are avoiders tend to respond better to action type requests versus something they have to put together themselves. oh I know that puts you doing all the work so how about asking him to select a restaurant and activity (such as play pool) every Friday night.
Assumptions are perpetuated since childhood, you've probably developed some from past relationships or even from the one your parents had...and they act like filters to what you hear or what is done to you. Some assumptions are: I must have everyone's love and approval, It's somebody else's fault, you can have it all, you are only as good as what you do...to name a few and I'm NOT saying these are yours just copying from the book.
I know you know your h is not like you but do you really NOT apply this assumption. In other words lets say that you've never been unfaithful but your h has...so in conversations where he's asking you where you've been, who you been with...your assumption that my h should know I'm faithful would kick in and you'd start getting angry, your answers to his questions more vague because you feel as though it is an attack on your faithfulness to him. When in reality it may just be his insecurities not necessarily the fact that he thinks you are unfaithful. Make sense? (and please don't think I'm accusing you of being unfaithful!!!!)
I'm not saying either that your h is getting his message to you correctly or even compassionately...I was trying to challenge your way of thinking so that your approach could change up a bit.
I guess you could have just told me to piss off! Sorry if I was not helpful at all. I'll refrain from further comment. No need to reply to this if this info is not helpful to you in anyway.
