New to the forum.

[Lonely in SLC]

Tonight has been a tough night.

Had to go to the house to pick up some more stuff. Saw the wife for about 2 minutes. Said hi, then nothing else. I am just to upset right now to say much else.

This experience is changing me. When I drove up, I pretended I was on my cell phone laughing it up with someone. As soon as I got back into my truck to leave, I grabbed the phone and acted like I called someone back to continue our previous discussions, smiling and laughing. She was out front and could see everything. I just wanted to give the impression that I am gaining new friends. I can't believe how infantil it was looking back on it. She seemed down and not happy.

I also need to stop looking at her FB. I know, bring on the 2x4's. I just cannot help it. She sent a message to her cousing stating that at her visit to her gynocologist yesterday, that the doctor hit on her, and she wanted to know what her cousin thought. She did not state what her feelings were. Since I have moved out and she took off her ring, the kids dentist and her gynacolgist have both hit on her. I wonder who else.

I know I shouldn't let this bother me. Hell, I shouldn't be looking at her FB. It just causes pain. Still......It just drives me crazy. I am fighting every instinct to call her. I want to confront her, but know that nothing good will come from it. Can I just scream really loud.....

AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGG!!!

I still don't fell that much better. Ok, maybe a little.

She also stated how lonely she feels, especially how her family and friends live so far away. Remember, she is from Chile, and does not have any family or friends that she grew up with here in the United States.

I also have been wondering something. I know a person that used to work at the same company as I do. I asked a mutual friend for her phone number. The friend asked her if it was ok to give me her phone number. She stated that she was excited to hear from me. I was her manager for about 5 years. She left because she got a better job about 2 years ago. I would like to call her, but I feel guilty until the divorce is final. The other part of me says why should I wait to move on. What do you think? The divorce could take a few more weeks. We are just waiting for the judge to sign off on everything.

AAAAARRRRRGGGGG!!!!!

The over-analyzing is killing me. Due to my religious beliefs, I have never drank an alcoholic beverage. I wonder if tonight would be a good night to start.