It has been confirmed from reliable sources that my H is having relations with his female "roommate."
To say I am devastated is an understatement.
I really thought he was a better man than this. I always thought he was different, that we really had the chance to work through things, but that chance is gone.
I cannot forgive cheating. I just can't. We have had numerous talks about deal breakers in our M and cheating was one of them. Even though we are separated, we are married and we discussed not being involved with other people. I guess some where along the way the situation changed, only I was unaware of it.
I will not do anything irrational, or go psycho and give him the satisfaction of seeing me broken.
I will give him a month to get his belongings from my place, and I guess I'll be getting a divorce.
I know I probably shouldn't, but I feel like God is punishing me in some way.
My heart has been ripped out of my chest, and stomped on.
I never thought I could feel any lower than I do right now.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
(((DG))) I am so sorry it's come to this. God isn't punishing you. Your H just exercised his free will...albeit stupidly and callously. I well know that heart stomped feeling. Take care of you best way you can.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
So sorry DG, you've been a source of solace and strength on this board though you may not think so. You feel what you feel. It is ok to question feeling people do. The sun will rise tomorrow. Better days are coming.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
I've been following your thread and I'm sorry that this happened.
Your progress has been very inspiring and I know that you will be a stronger and more resilient person as a result of all the work that you have done for yourself.
Hold onto yourself and all of your hard-won gains.
Trust that no one is punishing you, and that what your H is doing is a violation of his own integrity, not yours.
Hang in there!
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
DG - this was posted in a different forum, but I find it very compelling.
"After a While" by Veronica A. Shoffstall
"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman not the grief of a child and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and that you really do have worth and you learn and you learn, with every goodbye, you learn".
H: 39, Me: 37 SD: 18, S: 7 M: 9, T: 10 "I love you but am not in love with you" - 5/11 Discovered online affair - 7/11
It has been confirmed from reliable sources that my H is having relations with his female "roommate."
To say I am devastated is an understatement.
DG, I am SO sorry. (((hugs)))
Originally Posted By: DelinquentGurl
I cannot forgive cheating. I just can't. We have had numerous talks about deal breakers in our M and cheating was one of them. Even though we are separated, we are married and we discussed not being involved with other people. I guess some where along the way the situation changed, only I was unaware of it.
DG, you have decide what is right for YOU. Only YOU can do that. We will support you regardless of which direction you ultimately go.
Originally Posted By: DelinquentGurl
I know I probably shouldn't, but I feel like God is punishing me in some way.
I can understand how you may feel this way. But I really don't believe this is the case. I think He has used it make you the amazing woman you've become through all this. You have seriously grown. What your H has done does NOT define you. Don't ever forget about all of the progress you've and the new woman you are today versus the woman you were when you started all of this.
