So, I haven’t posted in a while. Here’s my update.
I’m divorced. H’s $500 divorce apparently got done on the attorney’s “spare” time so it sat for a bit and then the paperwork was prepared and sent to me. He gave me everything I wanted. I was WAY too nice. He asked when I was coming in to sign and I said I had an appt. with my attorney to review. He said can’t you just e-mail it to her to look it over and I replied, Please allow me the courtesy of meeting with my attorney. I had 60 days but looked it over within two.
I signed the D papers on 7/6. It was final on 7/15. I was in CA for business and the papers from the court were there when I returned on the 20th.
I went to my friend’s cabin for the weekend. She sat me down and told me that xH was engaged. He proposed 7/7 – the day after I signed the D papers. It was running rampant through his work and a friend of mine that works with him called my friend. They wanted to make sure I didn’t hear it somewhere else and was with someone that cared about me when I heard. My friend called xH to confirm. He told her it’s “not what it looks like” she said I don’t want to hear it…it’s a yes or no question…are you engaged. He confirmed.
I haven’t heard from him other than a text to tell me that the Quit Claim documents were in the mail. I texted back “K”. I no longer give him full words. 
I’m doing okay. Most people that know me can’t believe how well I’m taking it. I have everyone here to thank for it. I’ve read so much and seen so many situations. I KNOW he’s bat$hit crazy. There is no rational way to explain his behavior…he’s running from life and medicating with OW.
It hurts that EVERYTHING we worked for…being empty nesters, the house we bought 8/11, my life…he’s just handed over to her. I hope she likes the house I chose.
The rose colored glasses are off. I love him. I don’t respect or like him. He’s a narcissistic a$$hole. I’ve thought over everything he told me post bomb through May. He told me she’s a movie star beauty. He told me I’m “the most wonderful person on the inside he’ll probably ever meet” that “no one will probably ever love him just for him the way I did” that “we were a team and he’ll probably never have that again” that “he doesn’t want the white picket fence” but he pushed me out of it and is giving it all to her. He told me I’m “security, stability and comfort but that’s not enough for him”. I hope he can be happy because he threw a lot away for a young piece of a$$. I’m beautiful, smart and a genuinely good person. He told me she reminds him of me when he first met me. I told him I’m more than just a pretty face…I’m the complete package. Right after that I told him I hope he can be happy with a cheap imitation of me. I haven’t confronted him about anything since May…and then it was only when he wanted a relationship talk to tell me how awful he felt for what he’d done and that he could see how well I’m doing.
I don’t know what my future holds but with him engaged I’m pretty sure it doesn’t include him. I prayed for a sign…I got one early on to “save my marriage”. That’s pretty hard to do when you’re the only one that wants to save it and the alien is running full speed ahead to the next fix. I really wanted to reconcile. I used to feel like I was the luckiest woman in the world…I was loved by a man that showed and told me every day how special I was and how much he loved me. He bragged to the world about his wonderful wife…and then one day he told me he wasn’t happy…hadn’t been for a year…then it was 2 years… I guess his engagement is my latest sign. My future will be without him.
Like I said…I don’t know where this will end. I’m guessing it’ll be a LONG time before he comes out of the fog if ever.
