Well, my funk only lasted a couple of hours, so that's good.
My MIL called this morning to talk about a trip I'm taking to CO around Labor Day. I'm planning on visiting SIL and SD and spreading my mom's ashes in the mountains. Figured I'd drive both ways. MIL asked if I'd be willing to take FIL's car out to SIL and they would fly me home from Denver. Seems like a good idea to me and a win for everyone.
Now that I've had a day to reflect, I wonder if I was too *nice* yesterday. Wasn't groveling for R, admitted I had my doubts, but freely entered convo with W where she admitted how angry my dark made her. What I didn't ask (and maybe I shouldn't) is exactly *why* it made her angry.
OK, get that lumber ready... in an effort to mend fences and 'keep the road home smooth and paved', I sent a FB friend request to W last night (who I unfriended per going dark) with the comment "Peace offering... I'm pretty cool to have as a FB friend. I'm also humble ."
I know I'll never understand why she thinks D will make things better when she even admits that it doesn't change any feelings, takes time and energy and leaves her even more financially vulnerable (but not poor, we both do alright). She complains when I cut her out of my life, yet one thing she told me last night was that she tries to avoid me, unless it's somewhere she really wants to go, then she'll just go anyhow. Um, ok then.
For someone who supposedly wants to R, I spend a fair amount of time looking for better apartments and jobs. I know I'm not done with her, but sometimes I wish I was. Anyhoo, enough time thinking about her, time for bed soon.
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
So, CS, you found my other character flaw: asking questions I already know the answer to. Thank you sir may I have another!
Still, it's good to get this feedback. At some point soon (when I'm more awake) I'll probably ask the board for advice on apartments, moving the rest of my stuff out of the house, etc. I *do* want to keep the road home smooth, but I sometimes ask myself why and maybe I should just keep moving along. Something to ponder...
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
Well, I found an apartment online last night and looked at it today. It's really not an apartment, it's more like a basement/walkout/MIL house/duplex (hard to explain). It's in a residential area about two blocks from the edge of campus but really close to major roads. Not too far from my current apt really.
It is sooooo much bigger than my current place and much more 'home like'. Now, there is one weirdness about it: it's an older place and the bedroom is between the huge living room and the kitchen. Did I mention the fireplace and the ivy covered outside?
I'm stoked and hope I get it! It's also only $100 more than I'm paying and easily twice the size.
What I'm not looking forward to if I get it - the convo where I tell W I'm taking all my stuff from her house. If she wants to split the common stuff then, fine. For now, I just want what I brought into the house when I first moved in.
Eh, what's the worst she could do? Ignore me? D me?
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
Thanks JS, hope I get it too. Between that and the new car that will, at some point in my lifetime, arrive I have a lot of new things to look forward to!
Just got an email from a friend and his fiancée asking for last minute moving help tonight. Had no big plans so I told them I could help. Perhaps this is some sort of karma saying I'll get the apartment and they'll repay the favor soon?
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
Jezzz is right...I'm a good business woman do you want me to make a phone call for U concerning your long lost car? lol You know the squeaky wheel gets the grease right.
Good luck on your new apartment ( if you get it ...) sounds exciting to be moving forward, and making plans.
I think they're pretty tired of hearing from me at the dealership It really sounds like (car company)'s inventory management system leaves a lot to be desired. The fact that it's a Japanese car can't be helping either. Worst case, I found what I want... in Evanston IL. Road trip?
I really hope I get that apartment (I know, hope is not a plan:). Even if I don't, I think I need to move the rest of my stuff out of W's house soon, storage if necessary, just for my own peace of mind. Not that she would do anything to my stuff, but then I would have no reason to go back to that house unless I *wanted* to.
I've noticed that a lot of my friends try to tiptoe around anything to do with my W, like it's some sort of taboo subject or something. I'm getting to the point where I can just talk about it like it was yesterday's weather.
I think our little 'talk' this week helped me detach a little more, but not until after the fact. It's starting to sink in that yes, she's angry, but she brought it on to herself and I kinda wonder who she's *really* angry at, me or herself?
I just realized how random these paragraphs are. I blame it on being a Friday in summer and I already want to go home
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011