Pretty sure this is a MLC or Identity Crisis

[Thundarr]

Shell, you and I have a great deal in common as I am also an MFT and was completely blindsided by this whole ordeal. Like you, I had little to no knowledge of this and actually thought it was a pop culture myth or something. Whoa, have I found out different now. I can't believe my W's behavior and, even though I'm not sure of an OM at this point, would not be surprised at anything she did.

I'm amazed at how you're putting such a positive spin on things. You're able to see the PA as a positive at this point? Make sure and take care of yourself, man, and don't let yourself become a doormat. This will be the hardest road you have ever travelled most likely, and to call it a rollercoaster is the perfect metaphor for it. To me, the worst part is that there are no guarantees that things will work out in the end so we have to grieve now while also making the decision whether to stand for the marriage or not. I am, but question my decision every day. And, of course, most of my friends think I'm nuts and that I should just leave her in the past due to how she's treated me and the kids. It's everyone's personal decision, but I feel like my W will get back to being someone I can love because I certainly don't love who she is now. Or rather I don't love how she is now.

Listen to the advice on here, but try to filter out negativity because it creeps into every board. I've found it most helpful to listen to those either going through this now or who have successfully reconciled. That's just my personal preference and my way of staying as positive as I can. Good luck to you and feel free to let me know if you want to consult on anything. I think this will make me a better therapist in the long run, but I certainly feel like an absolute failure as a therapist at times because I may not even be able to save my own marriage.