Clearly your W is in the "feelings of love should happen naturally" mindset. My W went through this too. She's waiting for her emotions to tell her she is in love. While in this stage any reaching out by you will make her question if she is in love enough to accept your gesture. In her mind even having to ask the question means she is not in love. Since she still holds out to this notion that love should be automatic. My best advice is to stop reaching out for an R with her. Just be fun, and pleasant, and do fun stuff with her and the kids. Build some good memories where she is in no way pressured to decide if she loves you. Hopefully with time she'll become more accustomed to you, and start seeking your affection.
Don't test the waters, let her do it. In my sitch 3 months ago she started by sitting close enough to me on the couch that our legs lightly touched. I tried not to make a big deal and just enjoyed the contact. She has since then slowly escalated, with occasional relapses.
Like all aspects of piecing this on her timeline not yours.
I know you want more reassurance, after all you two have been through, I'm sure you want to confirm that you are still making progress. Just remember this is just another pursuing behavior, and will drive her away again.
