I have been reading a lot of Pema Chodron lately, and I'm struck by this theme that comes up - about standing on the edge and not being right or wrong.. allowing yourself to be groundless and just experience. I can't help but think of a) how it relates to what I'm experiencing right now and b) how it relates to much of Schnarch's Passionate Marriage.
What does it mean to just allow for that kind of destabilized feeling or to in fact willingly move into it? I think its a way of accepting fear, acknowledging it, but staying true to yourself at the same time. But then, what is the self? This is where I get a little stuck. I'm pretty familiar with the concept of Anatta (not-self) but I have always felt like it referred more to the idea that much of what we see as "us" is actually not us at all, and is certainly not solid. But that there is a self that exist behind that (this pops up a lot in Eckert Tolle's work as well) and that self sees the folly in much of what our other self places so much value and weight on. But does that 'self' evolve, too? Or is it a question of expressing that self more fully in our lives?
I love Pema Chodron. Which book are you reading?
So be a coach and coach me.
I need to work on this fear stuff.
Right now my biggest dread is sharing custody of my child with BF and sharing the next 16 years living in a state (geographically haha) I don't want to live in and not being able to return to the country where I do want to live - at least part of the time.
