Ended up reaching out to a family member. Was touch and go financially for a while. Still not financially solid, but business has picked up and have a couple of good paychecks. Still not in a position for to go out and get a car for them. Yes they need a vehicle at school, but we just can’t afford it right now.
Things with W are better. The med’s seemed to have really stabilized her moods and thoughts and hyper desires. The only issue is that now we have some money she is back shopping, not big $ amounts, small stuff. But it adds up.
Like I said in my last post, this is harder the second time with marriage than I would have thought. Especially dealing with the bipolar.
I am pretty confident that the A is over with the OM. Not sure why. W has started to be more attentive. To a point.
I am working on myself, working out, trying to get involved in activities that I enjoy. Doing everything I can to keep focused on the my career and business. I also feel like I am seeing my best friend go through this psychological pain and not sure how I can help.
I have gone to give wife hugs on occasion, but it is like she is pulling back. Not sure if it is the bipolar that is causing her reluctance or her lack of intimacy that is causing her to pull back.
So what do you do when wife gives the look of caring? Do you hold back or test to see if there is any emotion, passion, intimacy?
W has said that she loves being with me, loves doing things together, loves me. But she won't give me any hugs or kisses or initiate any intimacy? So I am not sure that I am totally convinced that I am the just the best thing at the moment until something more thrilling comes along.
We did have a couple of intimate evenings, but I am not sure if I am meeting her needs mentally and/or physically. Her reactions at times looked like she was in pain. I am not sure that because of the bipolar, W’s hyper activities where the driver of her mental and physical fulfillness.
I feel like that the W's gotten over the WAW, but also feel I am dealing with various factors of a sex starved marriage, midlife crisis and the bipolar symptoms.
I yearn for her touch, a hug and kiss, intimacy or passion that we had in the early part of our relationship and marriage. I love my W very much, and she even tells me that she appreciates how much that I love her. I feel like I am in love prison, looking into the eyes of the person I love who themselves are mentally in prison, who I am not sure how to help.
I am still looking for more direction, support, advice and help...
It would be very much appreciated. To those who have responded thank you very much... You have been a big help
