I get the impression that you want all of your feelings for your H to vanish, then there would be nothing he could do to get back in your good graces. that is not what I WANT to happen but I know that is what's going to happen...what I've been trying to explain and no one seems to understand it...not h and not even people here so caught up in the whole "love is a choice" bit. That way you never have to make the hard choices, ie show some cohones. But you know, if you are a waw, you will not be doing that from strength. You need to take this head on. so then imp why don't you stop beating around the bush and give me some clear cut suggestions?
Your plans for yourself are good. But that is what it is - for yourself. well if he's content just living his life why shouldn't I live my life? But what are you risking? if I don't get back to myself and focus on my own life then I'll be risking far more. What exactly do you want from your marriage and what are you willing to do to get it? how many times do I have to list what it is I want from my m? I want a friend...I want to laugh..I want to share jokes and little stories from the day..I want to spend time together learning about and enjoying this wonderful world we live in...I want affection...I want to be more than just "the wife" what am I willing to do to get it?? well aparently I'm willing to be cheated on in hopes that he learned something from that r, I'm willing to be left to the wolves with two babies, I'm willing to be ignored, I'm willing to wait half my freakin life already..I'm not really willing to do much more.
