I get the impression that you want all of your feelings for your H to vanish, then there would be nothing he could do to get back in your good graces. That way you never have to make the hard choices, ie show some cohones. But you know, if you are a waw, you will not be doing that from strength. You need to take this head on.
Your plans for yourself are good. But that is what it is - for yourself. But what are you risking? What exactly do you want from your marriage and what are you willing to do to get it?
