Tad, you are continuing to obsess. No-one and I repeat, NO-ONE knows the final outcome. A wonderful lady Holly posted here for a long time, and occasionally updates. Her h divorced her and they are now rebuilding their relationship. It can happen.
BUT and here is the kicker. She is coming up to six years post bomb. That is how long it can take - or longer.
Divorce isn't the issue, MLC is. This is not 'normal' WAS, as far as I can see. She has to fix herself in any way she can, and it may be that divorce is part of the process. When and if she comes out of MLC she will be changed. And so will you.
You said you want to a great dad, in a previous post. What specific things are you doing towards that? What about starting a family activity, either with each one separately or all together. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it should be fun, and need your time and commitment. An evening a week playing a board game works for younger kids, Hiking, learning to ice-skate as a family, learning to cook new foods together . . . .
Six years on my kids respect me for not falling apart, for being there for them and doing stuff with them. They are adults, and i really value what we now have. Many traditional couples do not the kind of relationship that I have with my kids. I am very blessed We have created our new family without my dear, much loved and much missed xh. New Christmas rituals and so on. As they say, the longest journey starts with a single step. If you can't do it for yourself yet, do it for your kids, they deserve it. I am still learning [nearly 6 years post bomb] how much my kids were hurt. You may feel you have the world on your shoulders, but you need to stay strong for your kids.
There are choices in life. By running away MLCers make bad choices, but you can make good ones. Everyone who survives this is immensely enhanced. Everyday is a choice as to how yo live your life. If you backslide one day, get back on track when you can.
And please stop obsessing about your wife, and focus on you and your kids. You can do something there, but you can do nothing about your wife.
