hi, friendship is good, but imho, I do not think real friendship with most MLCers [if it is MLC] is possible until the later stages. We can act friendly towards them for ourselves, and to keep a dialogue going if we need or want to. And we can be pleasant and kind.
This is where I think it is important to know whether it is probably MLC or something else. Because if my spouse had 'simply' been having an affair, then he would still be connected to the real world, even though he wasn't being 'nice' to me. But MLCers are, I believe, disconnected from their real feelings for most of the time [with occasional flashes of sanity].
I now exchange cautious emails with my xh but the emails he sends to me and the exchanges he has with old friends, they tell me, and his kids are just strange. Not at all like he used to be pre MLC.
If I am emailing a friend I don't worry too much about what or how I am saying stuff - it is relaxed and open. Not so with xh. What I say and how I say it are still [after nearly 6 years] something I need to ponder on. He is less crazy, less mean, but still nowhere near 'normal'.
