Tad, I have been were you are now and it sure does not seem like it but it will get better. You have been given great advice from some great people here. You will make it buddy.
Until you TRULY get it in your head that your W is not well, you will fight yourself on this over and over.
This whole process takes time. A LOT of time. Many here have been down this same path. Keep working at it.
It really does not matter what your W is saying or doing.
