Yes, I would agree that an a should have caused him to reconsider his ways. I'm sorry I didn't understand that he was a christian but since he is not practicing does he still believe in God? And why won't he go with you to church?
Anyway, I digress. Ok so you've listed some things you do to try to get him moving. Can you do a 180 on what you 'normally' do? What are some things you HAVEN"T tried? Like the things that scare you to do because you think they won't work?
Quote: ok corri but when does not fixing become treading into waw territory???
One month does not a WAW make. Besides, I think you have to physically move out or boot his butt out to even get close to WAW territory.
I'm telling you to stay on YOUR side of the net. When he realizes you aren't coming over to HIS side of the net to return volley for him, he'll wake up and realize he's either got to pick up his racket, or lose the game. Ya 'ken?
a waw's path begins when she resigns trying, stops asking for change, stops asking to have her needs met and stops trying to fix the r with a thought in mind that she will not stay around forever.
I don't often speak up anymore about my dissatisfaction with the state of our r and when I do it is mostly a warning that things aren't changing and eventually I'll stop trying and poof will be gone.
a waw doesn't always leave suddenly...the road to waw is long and I know I'm on it...
how the heck can I stay on my side of the court when h takes it upon himself to show up on my side and fall asleep? am I supposed to assume that his not sitting downstairs watching football but instead choosing to take over my tv but then throw the remote at me when he thinks "gee I don't suppose you want to watch this" and then just falls asleep there? wtf am I supposed to do then??? go down to his cave? go to bed? sit here at the puter? about all there is left for me to do is re aragne the spare bedroom and hide in there every night reading unless I want to go out (wich I sometimes do)
point is h isn't going to change...I've played this game before and I know it leads to "too little too late" the fact that h is asleep on the family room couch as aposed to the basement couch is a prime example of too little too late. Although I must admit he's doing a much better job of helping out with the kids lately but again we've been down that road to...it typically doesn't last and then it's back to him patting himself on the back simply because he showers with son and then puts him to bed every night.
Okay, so be a WAW for a month. If nothing else, it'll prep you for the inevitable that you seem to be trying to talk yourself into. You continue to list a plethora of reasons why you should throw in the towel. So take a trial run for a month and see if it gets the two of you anywhere before you lose ALL hope.
C'mon girl! Show some spunk, show that grit you are so famous for. You can keep a diary here and let us know how it's working. STOP FOCUSING ON HIS BEHAVIOR AND WHAT HE IS NOT DOING, OR WON'T DO, OR CAN'T DO, OR DOESN'T THINK TO DO.
Oops, did I hit the caps lock?! Silly me.
Let's focus an entire month on LL. Now when have you ever done that, I ask?
And if all this sound, sane logic is not penetrating you, then I DARE you. No, no, I DOUBLE-DOG dare you... no, nope... I TRIPLE-DOG dare you!!!!!!!!
Now that is some serious sh!t I'm throwing down at you...
Quote: C'mon girl! Show some spunk, show that grit you are so famous for. You can keep a diary here and let us know how it's working. STOP FOCUSING ON HIS BEHAVIOR AND WHAT HE IS NOT DOING, OR WON'T DO, OR CAN'T DO, OR DOESN'T THINK TO DO.
in my world hon it's goes like this "I SAID YOU WONT" of course said with a funky spunky accent (ya I've got some goofy friends).
ok you're on...hate to be a pessemist here but I've been in the process of backing out already...it's just that christmas had me doing things that would seem to be for him (I couldn't rightly not get him anything now could I?) and it's having little effect. Yes he's walking a bit on the shells but that is not what I'm looking for...I don't want a damn puppy that brings me a soda and then scoots back to their corner...I want a puppy that brings me the leash or the frisbee and says...let's go play! of course drulling and tugging at the leg of my pants is optional.
btw cloudy's got a thread in infidelity and could use some talking to...I've given him what I can but I know he's comfy with you.
Catching up on your thread. I am 1/2 way through reading "Love must be tough" by Dr. Dobson. Very Good READ!!
You know that I am at the point of really moving on for good, so this book was perfect. I got it at the library. I REALLY think it would be helpful. nik
Quote: a waw doesn't always leave suddenly...the road to waw is long and I know I'm on it...
When you say things like this, all I can say is then you need to be bold in your approach. Of course, you will say you don't have the stones for it. So we have a self-fulfilling prophecy in the making.
Corri said:
Quote: I'm telling you to stay on YOUR side of the net. When he realizes you aren't coming over to HIS side of the net to return volley for him, he'll wake up and realize he's either got to pick up his racket, or lose the game. Ya 'ken?
As someone who was there, I can tell you, he doesn't even know a match is being played. He either has to be dissatisfied with himself or he has to be pushed. This guy isn't moving at all.
