Hopeless? Really? From where I stand I can understand that feeling but I can also see that you are far from hopeless. I can also see that you are the sane one. That you want for your kids, even at your own expense. That's golden Tad.
Part of the problem is that you are in limbo. Part of the solution is to realize that you are keeping you there. But there are many rays of sunshine in your life Tad. It's time you looked at them and realized that you are letting w block out the light. Look differently, with a child's eyes, and see differently.
You cannot control what she is doing. You cannot control other aspects. You never could Tad. But you can, and arguably are, controlling what you do. That's golden even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
The interactions? Why let her dictate the time and place? Take that on for you Tad. Control what and when you communicate with her. Do that for you Tad. If she wants to follow, let her, but don't be at her beck and call - it's tearing you up and preventing you from healing. Balance Tad.
Good luck with the job interview! I'm sure it must almost be friday, no?
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
