about 3 and 1/2 months ago, i was diagnosed with stomach cancer. I have just finished my first round of treatment. I have kept this to myself only telling my boss at work and a couple of really close friends. I did not tell my wife. I have kept that from her and tried to do everything possible so she would come home for our kids and our family.
Tank,
You need to tell your wife. As the mother of your children -- and since your children will be affected if anything happens to you (be it death or even just a hospital stay) -- she has a right to know.
What she then does with that info is up to HER, and not your responsibility, but you need to tell her.
I know what you're saying, that "a", you want her to come back to the marriage for the right reasons and not out of some "pity" sense of obligation, and "b" you want your kids to have a chance at a healthy relationship with their mother should anything happen to you, but you really can't control EITHER ONE of those things.
All you CAN control is, telling her the truth, and telling your KIDS the truth (in an age-appropriate way), and then walking with strength and honor.
I hope you'll reconsider on this issue. I do know this must be tough.
