Others (especially those who have experienced reconciliation) are probably better suited than me to answer that question, but I'll still share a few of my thoughts.
MLC can take a long time for some folks. There are lots of theories about just what MLC is, why it happens, and how it proceeds. There are numerous books you can find to read about it.
I've read quite a few of them.
I honestly think the thing that is most likely to lead to a reconciliation at some point is your willingness to endure.
Most of the success stories here occurred after quite a period of time had passed. The individuals who had been left behind sorted through the wreckage and began piecing together a good life for themselves.
Eventually their spouse reconnected.
There certainly is no magic pill. And you can read articles on the phases and timelines for MLC, but there is no set pattern, and no guarantees for how your wife will proceed through hers.
Some never complete their journey unfortunately.
Another key component to me seems to be a clear message from the spouse left behind that they are THERE. That the love and devotion remains, but that they understand they cannot (and quite frankly in consideration of their well being) and do not want to travel on their spouses journey.
The illustration is that of being the lighthouse for the wandering spouse, that fixed point that they can always find their way back to if they need to, and know that it is a safe place. In some cases reconciliation occurs because the LBS does not burn the bridges between them and their spouse.
You have to take care of you and the children. If you can interact with your wife and keep things positive (and yet stick to your principles), that's good too.
Hopefully some others who have experienced some success will chime in.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
