Precious LL. My yougest son was like that. I never wanted him to grow up but he did. He's 6'3" and plays basketball.(very well too,if I can brag a little) He was and still is the light in my life. He may be leaving for college next year and I'll be alone. That scares me, but I'll be OK. I have you guys! Cherish this time with your son. Time goes by too, too quickly! Rachael
And KNOW that the devotion and love you give him unconditionally will be returned to you, by him, ten fold when he's grown.
I still have two sons at home (21 & 22) and they are dedicated to me. They fill my otherwise, and often sad and confused life, with absolute joy. They are not ashamed to smooch my cheek and bear hug me, even if the whole world's watching. They tell me everyday that they love me and it's written on thier faces.
God truly blessed me with my three sons and if I died tomorrow, THEY will have made My life worthwhile. T2
T2, Isn't it wonderful when your children are such a joy. I too have been blessed with 3 wonderful children. We tell each other openly that we love each other, and there is alot of hugging. I treat each day with them like it could be my last. My D just moved 4 doors down from me and I can't tell you how wonderful that is. She has a son (4) and identical twin girls-6 months. I help her with the kids and they are SO precious. Their smiles light up my day, and I know I am loved. Rachael
had a conversation last night that sort of spilled off of another conversation...it ended this way...
h "I'm just living my life" me "that's the problem you're living YOUR life when we should be living OUR life, not exluding having our own lives" h said some other things but I don't remember what me "your living YOUR life I'm just along for the ride"
wich honestly is how I feel most of the time and I don't like it...h has his life...I have my life and occassionally we share some things. I'm not saying I believe our lives should be so intertwined that we can't exhist without the other but I don't feel like his friend...don't feel like I really know him at all and when I express these feelings to him I am accussed of thinking too much and trying to figure out what's in his head. Well if he treated me like a real friend I would not wonder what the heck was in that head of his...
H is expecting me to believe he's just a happy content enigma.
Main Entry: enig�ma Pronunciation: i-'nig-m&, e- Function: noun Etymology: Latin aenigma, from Greek ainigmat-, ainigma, from ainissesthai to speak in riddles, from ainos fable Date: 15th century 1 : an obscure speech or writing 2 : something hard to understand or explain
an enema has a purpose a function you know what it does and why it does it....h is just a big ole ??? I'm tired of knocking cause I don't think anyones home..either that or their just too cozy on the couch to answer. 3 : an inscrutable or mysterious person
I find it hard to believe that with h what you see is what you get...I don't think anyone is that "simple" ( a word he uses himself) or "content" (another self discription)
basically h is phazed by very little almost to the point of being an emotionless blob who's sole purpose is to work and watch football occassionally stopping to take a dump or eat or let out some gas. I know he's a "man" and all but for christ sake there's more to even the most manly man then this guy often lets on.
I cannot believe that h is incapable of expressing feeling and emotion...I cannot accept that THIS is what a woman asked her h for a d and tried to sell her house to be with...just doesn't make sense...well of course then there's the other possibility.
Your H can't be an enigma because there is no mystery. As I have told you before, what you see is what you get. There's nothing else going on. The light is on, but no one is home. Elevator doesn't go to the top floor. ETC!
On the other hand, he is definitely a pain in your ass!
why do I not want to accept that? why do I believe there is someone there just hiding? why do I believe h is capable of more? I stopped believing for a while and accepted that was "just him" but upon disclosure of ow he showed me anther side...that person I had met long ago..the PERSON he can be...I resented the fact that he hid that person from me for so long and it made me uncomfortable to think that the person had exhisted all along. I could no longer believe "that's just the way I am" was true...instead I realized that was just the way he was with me and he had another life where he was a person (and not just with ow as I've said before I'm not a part of his life other than I'm his wife) and I didn't like that feeling...wasn't so much about the ow as it was about feeling like I had been a fool for years..been kept as the "girlfriend" then made the "wife" you know the one that's just there for show but isn't a real r.
when h first came home he was once again a PERSON and it was nice now he's back to "that's just the way I am" and I can't stand much more of it.
and for all you wonderfull dbrs that want to help don't bother asking me what I was doing differently when he came home or at the times that he is more of a PERSON cause in this case it's got nothing to do with me.
Quote: guys are so freakin weird...spend time with them and they could care less...go do your own thing and they wonder where you are.
Why do you not do this all the time? When you pursue your h, try to talk with him, try to get into 'his head,' it backfires in your face and he withdraws.
When you concentrate on you, your kids, doing what you want to do and act like he isn't even in the house, he comes looking for you.
So if this type of behavior gets you somewhere with him, why not retrain yourself to act like this all the time? I know it doesn't 'feel' right to you, but that could be because you just don't do it enough. Practice makes perfect, hm?
You know the song and dance about 'if you want change, change yourself.' What if this is all the change you need? Why don't you try a little experiment for yourself, make a resolution to act this way for... a month. You don't tell him what you are doing, just do it. See what happens. Why not? What do you have to lose?
