YAH, Starsky Tbh this is my way of dropping the rope. All this time I have tried to keep us together, this has included trying to prevent us from taking a relationship style that is dangerous, and once I decided to be open minded and give it a try, I wanted to ease us into it so as to improve our chances at being successful in a relationship style that requires ALOT of work.
Nonetheless she doesn't want that and would rather just "go for it" and see what happens. It's risky, and I wanted to not do it that way. Yet I finally got to the point where she is willing to risk this much, well then I am too. At every phase of this journey I felt our marriage was not worth the risk. That's why I wanted to go slowly build trust, and intimacy first.
She doesn't want to wait and wants to go for it. I'm fine with that, whatever the consequences are we'll just have to live with them.
I guess here are the scenarios:
A. Both of us decided we don't want this afterall, we go back to closed.
B. One or both of us hates the open arrangement, the R ends.
C. We both like the lifestyle and continue it.
I am ok with all three options. I know must folks here think B will happen. I wouldn't like that, but it's ok I've accepted it if it does. Which one do I prefer? I don't know anymore. I guess all I know is that B would hurt, so I wouldn't want that.
Besides this gigantic issue, I really do cherish every day we spend together, and I know she does too. We have a lot of fun together even if it's just hanging out around the house doing nothing. Hope for the best I guess.
