I went to IC tonight. We discussed the issue of learning how to react, or not react, when dealing with what I consider to be confrontational comments made by my W.
I accept full responsibility for reacting poorly to what I perceive to be hurtful comments. Ultimately, it is my responsibility to act in a supportive, loving manner, regardless of the situation.
I've been unfaithful in the past and verbally abusive for most of my marriage; I'm lucky that my W is still with me. My W's out-of-the-blue comments, which cause me so much angst, should therefore be expected, and I should be better prepared to respond in a mature, loving manner. In truth, my W's comments are not hurtful; that's simply mercy perception and lack of confidence coming through.
I'm not sure why I choose to confront, vice diffuse. It certainly upsets my W, and I find it difficult to understand why I keep repeating this behavior.
