Feels Like I'm In Two-a-Days

[MadeToSucceed]

The bully was an analogy. Used so you could draw an example between her not trusting your immediate changes.

I gotcha. I'm not the best at trying to convey what I mean sometimes...an area I have to work on period...so I didn't mean "literally" a bully but more so that I wasn't the "neglected her, never cared for her, never supported her, cheated on her, left her for dead" type of H. I guess I'd call my "issues" minor but if they're "major" to her then it means there's something I missed along the way regardless.

What happened to you to give you that...martyr complex thing. The "whole waste of time". I guarentee no one here said that. That came from you. Its almost a defense mechanism.

That was a defense mechanism but not directed at you. It was mainly me kind of being a bit confused by Starsky saying I wouldn't take the advice given...when he said maybe someone else could explain it better, I kind of took that as he'd tried and felt like he wasn't getting through so he was "done." Part of that is my ego so I admit that. I don't mind the challenges at all. Your tone didn't come out in any kind of way. I only mentioned tone because Starsky said something to the effect about his style...and I was just trying to establish I don't mind anyone's style...even if it is somewhat blunt...just that I was trying to better understand it. So when I spoke of doing things to the T, it was directly related to when I read this:

When you argue with the advice that you get, and instead try to go with your "gut" -- when your gut instincts are usually what landed your marriage in the soup to begin with -- you're only making it harder on yourself.

So that's part of it. The other part is STYLE; I know mine can be brusque. It's not for everyone, and maybe others can help him more, by explaining it better or differently.

I can handle the style...just have to get used to it. Kind of like the first time a coach got in my face...a bit shocking but then you realize that's how some are and it's when they STOP yelling that you should worry.

We cannot fix other people. We can however fix ourself.

This has become my mantra and what I'm going to (not try) to live by.

Starsky,

No hard feelings whatsoever and I would very much appreciate your input. I'm still banging my head against the wall and still early in this. I'm going to go back and research your story because to be honest, I haven't and I'm sure it could provide me some perspective. Thanks all the same for everything thus far.