Sorry, but I don't think yer gettin' it so far, mgm. Maybe someone else can try to explain it better, but your wife needs to see some AUTHENTICITY from you, some "Middle ground" between her perceived bad-marital-you and this new "Nice Passive Guy" that she's suddenly seeing.
mgm,
You have turned from a frog into a prince. With no middle ground here. Would YOU trust the bully who had gone from beating you up and taking your lunch money every day to the guy carrying your books and wanting you to come over and play the xbox with him?
She doesn't trust you.
Sad to say its, easy to make a change, easier to say you have, and far far far harder to live them out.
Point in fact, I don't believe you have changed yet, despite your desire, not until time has passed, not until you no longer call this a change, but instead this is who mgm is now.
Something like that Starsky?
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
