Bolero is cool, and perhaps ML is too large a step at this point but how about some real foreplay?
Like I said, how about nuzzling her neck? How about your hand around her waist and your crotch against her butt? SOMETHING.
Your wife is physical and sexual and I think would like both a more physical presence from you toward her and sex in general. I suspect, this is actually easier to do than you would ever imagine. Give her a little something to work with and I think, she will help you move forward.
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There must be smaller steps along the way.
Try just a little bit. The minimal amount of any kind of sexual/physical/foreplay type action you can muster the courage for and see what happens. Pure DB'ing. Experiment and watch for the results. If she doesn't eat you alive, she will at least be more agreeable the next day.
Remember what happened when you complimented her improving appearance? How might she react if you massaged her shoulders for a few minutes? How life threatening could that possibly be?
I went back to 2003 to start reading some of your sitch from the beginning.
My take away is this. You are a kind, concerned, thoughtful, gentle man, who for 8 years is unable or unwilling to give your wife what she seems to need in marriage.
You have earnestly addressed numerous peripheral issues but will not deal with the real issue.
It's a two way street and boy can she be a piece of work but from where I sit, a lot of her behavior is perhaps a reaction to feeling rejected and unwanted.
If I may be so blunt, the vagina is perhaps the most powerful force in the universe, can you imagine what that does to a woman's self esteem when her husband is uninterested in or refuses to make love with her? People act out when they are hurting. My feeling is that 80% of her nuttiness is based upon this....and probably another 10% is based upon having lived this way for so long, she doesn't know how to feel normal anymore.
I really do believe she desires intimacy, she wants to be taken by a man. The time has never been more right for manly action and a leap of faith.
As always, I wish you the best, good luck.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
