I think what Confused needs to do is state what she needs/wants = no contact.
Confused, you really need to believe this though.
In that she can basically say that the R can only thrive in exclusivity. That being said, she will then need to IGNORE all bad behavior. If he is texting ow, ignore it; if he is calling/seeing/whatever ow, IGNORE IT. This is pure DB/BR stuff. That is her first step.
I can't say I've met one person yet on this board (who is IN PIECING) say that their WAS just up and left the A. It takes time for the WAS to come out of the fog.
The next step that needs to come right along is the "I get it" phase and to OWN her part in the A. Admit the downfalls and the things that she needs to change.
Confused, you know what they are.....you really do!
Not to toot my own horn, but I wrote my H an "I get get it" letter. I even had to put in parts that I felt he believed and I didn't......validation......I came from HIS POV.....all with the hopes that someday we'd meet in the middle. SOMEDAY came.
Hey, I'm a success story. I want to help. Not saying that I'm perfect or my way is the way or the highway. I just know the DB/DR techniques worked for me.
MZ
M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29 S 22,21, 19 Bomb 4/10 It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013 We all have work to do
The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.
