Divorce on the horizon?

[AntoniaB]

If you spend time just thinking about what to do about fb, you're stalling, it seems. You can choose to stall all you want, but don't be surprised if you see more or hear more that hurts you.

Everyone here agrees that you can't have the fb connection. I agree with PEI about blocking because it eliminates a lot of potential problems. I blocked my XH on fb and my phone and my email. I sent a final email first. I said "I'm sorry that it has come to this, but being connected to you hurts me. I have to heal and I have to have boundaries and a safe space. You can reach me through my friends or family if it's an emergency, but from this moment on, I'm drawing a boundary around me.I will always love you, but I have to protect myself. I'm sorry."

You know what? I don't know what his reaction was to that, and it's not important. What's important is that I was not able to detach from him at all until I created some boundaries. If it's hard for you to create the boundary, then it's because you're still telling yourself that YOUR actions can make her come back again, and if you just behave in exactly the way she wants, eventually she'll say she is returning to you. But it won't happen, because she changes what she wants by the minute, because she's in lala land.

So do yourself a favor and push yourself to create the boundary. It's going to be hard the first few days, and then as you see how much more peace you have, you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner.