My wife is dead set D will make her happier...

[Maxfly]

I am a returning member. I was in your same situation last year. Lost, confused, hurt, grabed whatever I could read, tried everthing in vain. Caught my wife in affair, she did not want to give up the relationship with the OM. We have three young kids. Long story short, in fall of last year, i went completely dark on her... gave up trying. I held my end of the respondsibility (paid bills, mortage...). But I got on with my life, GAL. Moved out to my parents house. 3 months later... she calls me back crying for me to come home (this was in Feb).

I said, hell no to her. After what she put me through. I enjoyed my single life. Her OM didn't pan out the way she had hoped (made empty promises to her). I continued to enjoy life and while she was stuck watching the kids.

Fast forward to this summer and I started to work on forgiving. I started to talk to her more often. I saw that she was remorseful and felt the pain of her actions. I too have changed in my ways.

In the past 3-4 weeks, we started doing things as a couple and family again. It feels great again to have my wife back and my family back. The whole drama had to unfold and work itself out - literally within a year span.

There is still more work that we both must do to maintain our relationship, but one day at a time.

I know what you are going through right now, as I have been there! Give her space, dont follow her around. She needs to go through her range of emtions and issues. Work on yourself. I know its tough... really tough. Find a local support group (like Divorse Recovery). I was looking at the brink of divorse several times (even saw a few lawers).... but I held on.

Hang in there!