i look at it like this, it takes hard work to make yourself happy, which is what many of us did before we got into the R.

then we met the other, and we were more happy. but it wasnt only that the other made us happy, but we made ourselves happy by the act of dating, and putting on the best face for our new R, and basically GALing without knowing about it.

eventually we started to believe it was the other that made us happy.

and this evolved into believing it was their responsibility to make us happy. so we stopped working to make ourselves happy.

and then we weren't happy.

and then we blamed them for it.

"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".