I see the fear and acceptance as one in the same now. If a person accepts that the marriage is over and you realize you can’t stop the divorce you lose the fear and accept the divorce. Take the bull by the horns.
As most of the posters on this board I was scared to death of divorce. I had to accept that my ex was not happy being married. In the beginning after I did all the begging, pleading, and I love you crap that eventually pushed her into a relationship with another man, I started following the advice on these boards not because I understood but because I had hope. My ex used the “you are not a man unless you divorce me”. So I let it happen. I haven’t even been divorced a week and she has contacted me more than she has in the last 6 months. I see it now as I gave her what she wanted or it could be that we are still in a custody battle. All I know is it just doesn’t matter anymore. I had to accept that she wanted the OM instead of me I was replaced. Do I think she is completely happy with OM? It doesn’t matter, that is her choice. If she decides down the road she made a mistake she will let me know, if not all a person can do is work on themselves and see where life leads.
This is an awesome thread! Fear is all in your head, just accept your fears and live.
Me 44 W 38 M 18 D 18 D 13 Bomb 10/21/2010 Divorced 7/19/2011 Just getting to the 7th inning!
