I'm off to see The Wizard

[~¤DG¤~]

Yeah, it was a response I guess.

I get tired of people telling me that I should just give up on him.
It worries me that IF we were ever to reconcile, would the people in my life be supportive?

[~¤DG¤~]

I'm not discouraged at all, I just don't want to be reminded that he left.

I know the reasons he left, it wasn't just me and it wasn't just him.
There isn't an OW involved (that I know of) we are just taking time apart.

[~¤DG¤~]

I don't know what is going on with me, but the past few days have been almost impossible to get through.
I did something really stupid. I sent H a text saying that I still want him and I still want our M.
I told him there hasn't been anyone during our time apart and that I hope it isn't too late for us.

Why did I send it? Because I'm tired of feeling like I'm not mentioning on the big elephant in the room. I've avoided talking about R with him because I've been too afraid of him telling me it's over.
For me, up until now, I've thought that not talking about it has been easier, but it really hasn't.

If he still tells me he doesn't know what he wants, then I have no choice but to let go. Forever.
I just can't do this anymore. The rejection makes me feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and stomped on.
I am having such a hard time coping, and all this uncertainty makes it so much harder on me. If I know one way or the other, it gives me the opportunity to figure out which direction I need to take in my life.

I'm about 99.9.% he either A.) Won't answer me at all or B) Tell me he can't.

If he can't, he can't. At least I'll know.

[a girl]

((hugs)) Are weekends harder for you? They're harder for me - the .. lack of H .. is more noticeable than during the week when I'm caught up with work, etc.

You'll know what to do when you know what to do - don't rush.

[Confused423]

DG,

I can completely understand where you are coming from. My H had been coming around and playing family for about a month and I avoided ALL R talk. However, I finally just said "It's been nice that you have been here and everything has been great, but I do not want to be doing the same thing a week, a month, or a year from now. I want you to decide what you want. I'll give you a week to decide as you have been "deciding" for a year and I think this has gone on long enough." He said that that was fair and that we would talk again in a week.

However, a part of me wishes that I would have just left well enough alone because I think I did myself a disservice, but there does come a point in all of this that we just say "GIVE ME ANSWER"...I'm tired of limbo and I don't think there is anything wrong with that, but I'm probably not the right person to say that

[~¤DG¤~]

Do I have a right to ask him to make up his mind?
If he doesn't want me, or doesn't want our marriage, then why doesn't he just file already? Why prolong this any longer?

I'm tired of wondering if I have a H or don't I? We're married on paper, that's it. Haven't seen one another since May. I don't know where his head is at and I feel I have a right to know.

I just broke down a little bit ago in my bedroom, begging God to please not let it be too late for us.
I love this man with everything and I want him to come home.

[aeolianchaos]

Do I have a right to ask him to make up his mind?
If he doesn't want me, or doesn't want our marriage, then why doesn't he just file already? Why prolong this any longer?

You have the right to ask him to make up his mind.

He has the right to make a choice you don't want, make a choice you do want, or to remain in his 'ambivalent' state.

How you respond to any of these is entirely up to you.

It's harsh but it is the truth. Now - of course you also have the choice of whether or not you want to ask that question at this point. Do you believe there is a benefit in not asking it?

I understand wanting to know - but you'll only really know what he is willing to tell you in the first place.

I guess what I would wonder is: are you prepared for if the decision he makes isn't the one you want? How would it change things for you?

[~¤DG¤~]

Considering we have been apart this long with virtually no communication, the chances of him making the decision I would want him to make is pretty slim at this point.

[~ kd ~]

DG, only you know when you are done... Your H may never know or say...

I know you understand that you can let go the rope and move on with your life and that does not exclude an R with him if he finally makes a choice in that direction...

IF you want...

((hugs))

[jbnati]

Hang in there, DG. 5 months is a long time of being in limbo. Just know that I'm pulling for you, I am proud of you for what you've done with yourself, and you're in my prayers.