XYZ is here longer than I ever imagined....

[XYZ]

This will be a little on the long side and I think the end result is really nice....

I have to give a little background for this to make sense: W has this friend (female). They starting spending time together only a few months before our bomb. Friend is also in the midst of a D after 20-something years of marriage. I know that friend is over at the house a lot because kids talk about her. I've met her and she's nice, but around a bunch.

I had the kids from end of school on Friday until this (Sunday) morning. Had a bunch of fun. LOTs of checking in from W. I drop off the kids this morning and W says "oh you're earlier then I expected". Friend's car is in the garage (in my spot, no less). Friend is in the shower. There are two bras on the coffee table. Shoes everywhere. An empty Vodka bottle in the kitchen. W seems a bit nervous. As I leave, she very clearly says "ILY"

I leave. 5 minutes later, I get a TM: "Sorry the house is a mess, I wasn't expecting you guys this early. ily". I didn't respond. 5 minutes later she re-sends it. I reply "No worries. ily". A few minutes later, she sends "What are you up to today? ily" I send back: "You'd tell me if that was more than a friendship, right? I'm 99% sure that's all it is and I need to hear you confirm it. I mean no insult, I just need to get that out of my head. ily"

W replies: "oh my gosh, yes, just friends. I didn't know you thought that. We hang out on days we don't have the kids, just helps. Just friends. I promise. Ily2"

I reply: "Ok, I believe you. To be honest I'm jealous. Not of her, but only that she gets to spend time with you and I don't. ILY.

She says she understands. We joke about how normally I'd think an empty Vodka bottle and 2 bras on the table was a good thing, but today it hit me weird. She jokes that "chicks don't hang out like guys do.". I agreed. Can't remember ever having taken my boxers off while hanging with a buddy.

(I'll save you the details. Lots of discussion. SEVERAL time W says "I'm so sorry you thought that, I can see where you'd get that from and how that wouldn't feel good. Besides, you know I don't like girls.")

Later in the conversation W says "We will get this all worked out, I love you"

Me: "I know we will and you are worth the wait. Can't make a fine wine overnight."

Her: "Very true and at least we both are willing to stomp the grapes!"

(Later - she initiates contact again - about the 4th time in 4 hours.)

Blah blah blah - admin/money stuff and then...

W: "I wish we could fast forward, ily"

Me: "Me too. And I wish more to have the next 50 years be unimaginable with you. I won't give up that goal for the benefits of a few more weeks (hopefully). I'm ready when you are and not a second before. ily"

(couple more things and then sign off).

I really like this progress. I like how she's thinking and I can clearly see her thinking about ME and US and not just Her. This is very nice. Feeling pretty good right now.