come on starsky, first your saying im enabling her for taking her there, now that i dont pick her up, its a missed oppourtunity?
My MIL obviously wanted to take that time and talk to her daughter about things. They havent had that time very much over the last year. My MIL feels she lost her daughter.
This allowed me to go out with friends and enjoy a kid free weekend and to just cut loose. I think i needed that.
I am home now, tackling the many chores that need to be done.
come on starsky, first your saying im enabling her for taking her there, now that i dont pick her up, its a missed oppourtunity?
I meant, it was a missed opportunity for YOU to proactively decide that you wouldn't do it, instead of something passively happening so that you didn't have to.
My MIL drove all the way to the cottage to pick W up. When she arrived, W wasnt there. The place was locked up. She drove all the way home. Called her daughter, no answer.
I called, and texted her. In my text i said. "we are worried about you, havent heard from you and the kids miss you, are you ok?"
I got this in return, "fine, i will call the kids today."
That was the last we have heard from her. Her facebook account was shut down. A new one was opened and she has added only our family and a few long term friends that still talk to her.
Nothing else at all from her. She didnt call the kids, she didnt show up for her visit tonight. My daughter was so upset she didnt want to play soccer at all. I finally convinced her to play and have fun. She tried, she at least put some effort forward but even her coach saw the difference and said something to me after the game.
I had to pick my SS from their dads as he still doesnt have a car. The first question they asked me was, where is mom? She said she would be home this week. I told them that there mom didnt come home, and i didnt know what was going on. S15 said "this is a "Fing" joke. She told me that if i ever have kids to never leave them like my dad left us. Look what she is doing. I hate her and if i see her and OM im gonna beat the "sit" out of him."
Uhm, i kinda just told him that it is okay for him to express his anger, but that he still needs to respect his mother and violence was never the answer. His mom has adult issues that she needs to figure out, and no one can do it for her.
So im right back to square one pretty much, but now, no one can even talk to her. It has been almost 2 weeks since she last saw or talked to her kids.
Ive put up with a lot of crap, this is to much for even me. I sent her a text, told her she was on her own and when she needs something from me, dont ask.
so, i guess it didnt work out how i was expecting it to. Kinda shocked by this turn of events, but there is nothing i can do.
I feel like a failure to my family and there doesnt seem to be much to make me change that thought. i did lose my cool, thank god it was on a punching bag. I am really starting to regret all that i have done for this women. How could i be so stupid?
stay cool and calm and just move forward. Try not to think about the future or your W and do your best to just take care of yourself and your kids... it's all you can do and focus on, right now...
Have you met with an attorney yet? You need to at least get a consult, ASAP, with a good family law attorney -- one who specializes in "men's rights" and paternal custody issues.
Do this TODAY, if you haven't already done so. You need to protect yourself, and your kids.
I do have a lawyer, i have protected all my rights even with my step children. My wife had sole custody of them and she signed that to me. It is all legal and with the courts.
My real estate agent has come out to the house and given me a list of items to fix, which i have completed and the house will be on the market this week.
I will say something that i have been avoiding for a few months on here. I dont know why i didnt add it to my story, it might have been a little easier for some of you to understand my motives and why i have done what i did.
about 3 and 1/2 months ago, i was diagnosed with stomach cancer. I have just finished my first round of treatment. I have kept this to myself only telling my boss at work and a couple of really close friends. I did not tell my wife. I have kept that from her and tried to do everything possible so she would come home for our kids and our family. This was done cause i am afraid that if i dont make it through this, the kids will have lost both parents.
my son hates his mother, my daughter doesnt want to talk to her mother, my middle 2 boys just dont want to see her. How does life go to sh#$ like this so quickly? She was such a good mom, the kids were always put first. Now its the complete opposit.
Dont know if that helps people understand my situation, and the motives for my actions.
As for selling the house and moving on with life. Her brother is giving me every dime he has monthly, raising my 4 kids and mainting a large house and property pretty much by himself. I dont know too many 20 year olds who would do that. He has been a blessing, letting me rest and doing the things i can do. Hell he even cleans up my puke. Its not fair to him.
Thanks for letting me get that out there, in writing it really sinks the reality in.
I'm so sorry, Tank -- you are in my prayers now, and so are your kids. Tough stuff.
I'll have more thoughts later, as I'm going thru some stuff myself (not nearly what you are), and would like to share more than just this short note to you.
