She just messaged me right now saying "Like I said...I'm sorry. I see I put you in a bad place to need to call on God for help. It will never happen again."
I'm not even going to respond. I can't believe her.
I realized I put her name in my post on page 7. I need a mod to remove it. I'm unable to edit it so I need that post deleted or preferably for her name to be edited to W. I don't want it to pop up as searchable through Google...and I'm unable to edit the post. It was in the second to last paragraph of post #2170803 - Today at 04:24 AM
mid 20s Tgther 7 yrs W EA 04/12/11 PA 04/23/11 W filed 05/11/11 I moved out 08/05/11 Mediation mid Oct 11 D final Dec 11 Now what? ...2012
I've personally never seen this approach work. Not here, not elsewhere. And while it appears on a DB website, I'm not even sure it follows DB principles. I'd love to see MWD herself publicly comment on this article sometime, because it comes up here from time to time, but from my reading, it flies in the face of much of what is written in my DR book.
W called this morning after I left my DivorceCare group. Relatively pleasant conversation. She began by apologizing for calling me about OM. Said she didn't think it through and was very sorry for the predicament it put me in and promised it would not happen again in the future. Spoke candidly about her feelings. Said she realizes she is messed up and has not handled any of this properly. Said she wants to try and fix things with me but knows she can't the way she is currently and really needs to take time to isolate herself and work on her. I listened and she asked me what things have I done to try to work on me. I shared with her that at some point if she truly wants help she should seek some form of counseling...that it has greatly deal with my issues involving her and even the ones that have nothing to do with her....if she didn't feel comfortable going to our church she could go to another and that there were plenty of resources available.
We went back and forth on how difficult this was for us both but the thing I stressed was that as much as I want to be there for her, I can NOT be there for her about OM in any shape, form or fashion. She said she understood. I was very honest with her about how things made me feel and that I still desired to be with her but I made it very clear that I will be ok either way. That I am still praying and hoping but am not just sitting at home in the dark. Let her know that I was making plans for my future and while if those plans included her, that would be great but if not, I will move on. She was very receptive and responsive and opened up much more than she has since she has been gone. Something happened with our connection so she ended up having to go after about 20 minutes of talking or so.
She texted me a few hours later:
W: It was so great talking to you and being able to be completely honest about how I feel...it felt really good. Me: I'm glad you were able to express yourself freely. W: Thanks for opening up to me like that. That's all I've ever wanted. How is school going? I saw where you were taking tests. I've been praying for you. You'll do great. It will be over soon. Is there anything I can do? Me: Beyond the prayers, I don't think so. I appreciate it.
She then called me about 5 minutes later. We talked about track. I asked about the dogs (apparently a neighbor has been keeping them). She asked if I'd like to keep them. I told her I would starting next week (this week is my last week of summer classes). We talked for a while about random stuff...I mainly just let her speak and I somewhat responded to the things she said.
I'm not really sure the purpose of any of this but it seems as if she is at the very least attempting to begin to sort through some of her own feelings and actions and process them. I too am attempting to process them as well and make sure that I don't attach any unfounded R hope to what could be just her being disappointed about things with OM. She made it a point to tell me she hadn't talked to him in the past couple days to which I really didn't have much to say. She told me she's wanted to call me but felt like she would never have "enough answers" for me and so she felt it was better for her to just not call...until today basically.
mid 20s Tgther 7 yrs W EA 04/12/11 PA 04/23/11 W filed 05/11/11 I moved out 08/05/11 Mediation mid Oct 11 D final Dec 11 Now what? ...2012
