Wife no longer in love with me

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I feel like I am all to blame for this. I can't stop looking back at how I behaved and acted at times and how I treated her. She did a lot for us to be together and I took her for granted and I will never get a chance to redeem myself now. I took things out in her and made her feel like she could never do anything right. It wasn't always like that, I just went through such a bad time that she bore the brunt of it. I have such little confidence in anything working and such a hard time to accept that this is over. All I see are the great things about us, her beauty and how I have wrecked my life. Why couldnt she give me a chance to prove myself, why did she take marriage so lightly. It's such an immature way t behave to just run away because she "got scared" that things may be bad in the future. She dines doesn't know that unless she tried and that is what frustrates me so much. Even in February she was writing to me saying she loves me and thank you for being so loyal and loving and patient through this time and sorry for ever questioning my love for her. Now 4 mths later she is going for divorce!
I don't understand how anyone can completely block all the good things out as a way of coping and getting through it. How do you ignore what we had, which was very good for a long time, and act like it never happened? She says it's her defense mechanism and it's how she has always gotten through bad situations in her life before.
She has had the most unstable upbringing. Mum and dad divorced when she was young. Mum had post natal depression, but W lived with her until she was 14 when he mum went crazy. Mum is bipolar, has no contact with her now. Lived with her dad, he died of cancer when she was 18. Older sister who seems to be bipolar too. She had a great husband, two kids and great life. Cheated on him all the time, and now she is divorced too. I now feel like W moved to Australia to escape her terrible life in the US and I was just an excuse and that if anything went wrong in our relationship she was always going to run away. She has completely wrecked my life, and I still can't stop wanting to fight for her and recapture what we had.