My XH was also very curious about the yardwork he "heard" about me doing. He saw a few pics on fb that I tagged a mutual friend in and then they disappeared as I had blocked him, which made him more curious. My next door neighbor cut his hair for years in her home salon. We were apart and he was with OW for MONTHS and told me that he planned to continue coming to get his hair cut next door--and he also told me he talked about me with the neighbor and told her to "help me out" if it snowed, la la la. I was FURIOUS. Basically he kept tabs on me through the neighbor who of course had no idea what kind of crap he was doing to me with his affair. Nope. He wanted it to look like he cared about me. 6 months after he left, I told him find another person to cut your hair. You're invading my privacy.
It's the same as what your W is doing. She can't tear herself away completely. She wants to be a voyeur into your life. THEY can't detach from us. They like to say they can, but this interest they have in what we do says otherwise. But don't fall for it, Tad. (I don't think you have, I'm just warning you if you feel like you might). Just keep being detached. It's your best bet.
On the text she sent--I'd ignore it. There is no reason to respond; no reason to engage in what will inevitably turn into a conversation, and you can't have a conversation with her that doesn't end up going south. This isn't your fault. It's the reality of the sitch.
You are starting to see that you need boundaries to prevent yourself from FURTHER hurt, and this is a really positive step. Coming here and asking for feedback before acting is a REALLY positive step. You're turning a corner. Feel good about it. It's only going to get better from here for you, and easier. Despite any backslides or bad days, and they will happen, you're gaining strength BY THE DAY. I'm proud of you!!
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
