If God reached down right now and made you the most positive, powerful, and convincing speaker in the world, there would still not be a single thing that could come out of your mouth that would cause your wife to change her mind.
In the list of top 5 mistakes/misconceptions that new people here make, this one is definitely in the list.
We are so used to the disagreements and arguments we had in our marriage, and that every once in awhile we could actually convince our spouse we were right.
The problem is, this is no longer the marriage you once knew.
In fact, in your wife's mind, you are NOT married any longer.
You really need to take some time and convince yourself that this is NOT one of those disagreements that you're going to work out by saying the right thing.
Because as long as you keep thinking the way you are right now, you're in for a long, miserable road that is definitely ending in divorce. And probably an ugly one.
So if you can't work on the great speech that will make her change her mind, what can you do?
You won't like this answer either...
You leave your wife alone...and you work on YOU.
You say you weren't the easiest guy in the world to live with. She says you took her for granted and didn't appreciate her (and note here that THAT means she didn't FEEL appreciated, whether you THINK you appreciated her or not).
So what were the problems in these areas? What made you not so nice to be around? What did you NOT do that would have let the woman you pledged your life to KNOW that she was still the most precious thing in the world to you?
Where did you get off track? and then, how do you get back ON track?
If you're typical of newcomers, you will give lip service to saying that "you've changed," and do everything in your power to jump back into the mode of trying to FIX your wife.
And you will be posting on here regularly about how flipping miserable you are and what a beyotch she is being.
How about saving yourself the time and effort, and listen to what the good folks around here tell you.
SUMMARY
Talking to wife about relationship? BAD Asking wife to make a decision? BAD Trying to convince your wife you are different through words? BAD
Working on YOU? GOOD SHOWING your wife through actions that you are changing? GOOD Giving your wife her space so that she can only screw up HER life? REAL GOOD
I know, it doesn't make any sense.
And by the way, the other people whispering divorce in her ear? You can't do anything about them either.
Though I'd like a few minutes in the office with that "pastor".
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
