I have read your story and I am completely new to this, I wanted to share my experience that I had with the whole Codependent Anonymous philosophy that I found myself entangled in at one time in my life. I hope this helps.
My wife is leaving me too for some very similar reasons in that she says that she is "condependent" and uses all the psychobabble buzz words of the C.A. industry. I am a drop-out of C.A.
I came to see that C.A. is destructive and does little to help people but can make them narcissistic. Yes there are people in bad addictive relationships but C.A. is not the answer. It took me years to extricate myself from that mindset of C.A.
Unfortunately your husband will hear by other people who are involved with Codependents Anonymous or read the their books that leaving a relationship is healthy and that he is perpetuating unhealthy decisions by maintaining an unhealthy relationshp due to his "dysfunctional family." What a crock! Unfortunately the crock of C.A. is a public relationships sucess in that people swallow this stuff hook line and sinker.
It is my experience and I speak from personal experience that the more one becomes involved with the philosophy of C.A. the more anger they experience.
The good news is that your husband is on what is commonly referred to as a "pink cloud". He feels a little euphoric but he will come back down to earth at some point and will see that he has made some really bad decisions. It's inevitable.
When he comes off of his pink cloud that maybe the best time to deal with his wanting to leave you. It will come and he will come back down to earth. I hope this helps you.
"Someday we may look back on this and decide that Saving Private Ryan was the one decent thing we were able to pull out of this whole godawful mess."
