Huge eye opener-How do I approach WAW

[DoggySector]

I posted earlier in the week and did one coaching session. It's like the scales have fallen from my eyes. I can see where I made huge mistakes and see that my WAW is doing exactly what Michelle outlines in her book. Although my WAW are talking to each other in a much more civilied tone (basically due to the coaching and Michelle's book) I havve been able to disarm my spouse's angry responses with what I have learned.

What do I do now? She still wants a divorce and we are still set to sign the final paperwork. I wish that my spouse could see what I see now and that we need to divorce the old marriage and start a new one. The prior counseling that we had half-hearted atteempted in the past was useless in that the last couselor that we went to just kept telling us that we needed to divorce. What a waste of money and time.

I know that there is good counseling out there but one female pastor told my spouse that I needed to renounce my Catholic faith and if I did not renounce my Faith that my wife was to immediately file for divorce because that proved that I was not willing to change. What kind of advice is that to give someone? Michelle is right, divorce is not usually the answer. We have a little 8 year old who has autism and my wife is now struggling financially, because she is of the belief that our marriage is hopeless. She has her sister who has a history of breaking up marriages telling my wife that she can do much better and to dump me.

Now that i am familior with DB to a small extent I snapped at my younger sister the other day. My sister called to tell me that some mutual friends of ours are divorcing and that the husband is contesting the divorce in the state of Texas. They had beern married for 12 years with 4 children and his wife wants to leave because she states that she has "fallen out of love." My sister told me that she told her friend to follow through with the divorce and tell her soon to be ex to get a life and move on. I snapped at my sister and told her to mind her own business and that she has no business giving anyone that kind of terrble advice. My sister hung up on me but then called later that day and apologized.

Anyway what do I do now. How do I approach my WAW and not appear to be manipulative and needy? Thank you.