I guess I am now an official member of the DB club

[Woodman]

KD- thanks for the valuable advice.
Sorry about the confusion on the vehicles. I'm still driving the new car and she is still driving the 12 y/o truck. She was complaining yesterday in her email, that the trucks gets horrible gas mileage and it is taking so much money to keep it filled with all the "running around" she is doing. I thought to myself "Welcome to the real world".
I am going to try and extend the contact a little if she comes over this weekend. My 180 is that I am NOT going to talk. I am going to LISTEN. I am a fixer and I always want everyone to hear my solutions. But not anymore. My therapist has been giving me tips on how to really listen and mirror back what I am hearing. I pray that I can hold it together. This 9 weeks of basically being dark was at her request, but it had the effect of helping me to detach, because I was a real basket case when she first left. I don't know exactly how I am going to feel and react to seeing her again and have her in the house. I wish I could paint a smile on my face and leave it there. Give me some good tips on how to validate without agreeing.
I'll update after I see her this weekend. If I see her this weekend. She is so skittish, I'm not sure that she we will make this meeting. She stood me up the last two times.