And the beat goes on...

[Telemark]

Save your money at the lumberyard; I didn't say a word. Unfortunately it does tell me she suspects I am still snooping which will push her further away.

I don't trust or respect her; she doesn't trust or respect me. I had hoped the tension in the house would lessen as time went on, but it feels like it's getting worse.

I got home from the gym at 8:00 last night. She was on Skype w/ her older sister planning the wedding for older sister's son. This has been the nightly routine for the last several weeks. Meanwhile SS21 is bouncing off the walls because he wants her attention and isn't getting it. When I went to bed at 11 she was still on.

Why does that bother me? I guess it is somewhat hurtful because I know I won't be going, but I hear W talk about the beautiful sexy dresses and shoes she will be buying for it (can't recall the last time she bought something special for anything we did together). I am assuming she will meet OM at the wedding, which will be in Texas, and the EA will become a PA. And her Skype sessions go on for hours; there is nowhere in the house I can go to really escape it except to my bedroom, and I'm not going to hole up in there every night.

Yes, I'm obsessing about all of this, and I don't like it. I'm trying to find things to do outside of the house in the evenings that won't cost a ton of money and get me around some new people.

On the plus side, I went to a blues jam in Lancaster last week and played w/ some pretty good musicians. The club was nearly empty, but I did get away for a few hours.