I get what you're saying OLW.

I can understand the desire for closure.

But there is another option.

Just divorce her mentally. (if that makes sense)

Just move on. Let her go.

But don't put the legal/logistical/financial burden on you when this was not your choice.

She wanted you to pay for her name change? Sorry, but that is insane.

So just realize that. She is not acting with sound mind.

But by doing these things for her, you keep her from having to deal with it. You are still protecting her. The protection is still a form of holding on.

Let reality back into her life. Don't protect her from it.

Just my VHO.

Take care.

BITS

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.