Sorry I wasn't clear. I wasn't trying to speculate.

I was only referring to the PA you already mentioned. I asked if you knew if it had stopped, and I believe you said you thought so, but wasn't sure.

So my only point is it is one of two things, either had, or having.

The point of this is not to dwell on it.

It is to understand and accept.

I believe if you do so. It becomes easier to understand how to move forward.

So you didn't send the letter?

If so, good.

One thing I know I did many times through this is write letters that I never sent. Good way to get this stuff out.

I think one of the reasons I resisted as long as I did was I blocked emotion rather than feeling it, processing it, and moving past it.

So don't block you feelings.

Just don't let them control you. Don't let them make you do something you'll regret.

Use this place to get them out.

Use a journal.

Write the letters then tear them up.

But keep moving forward. Don't attach yourself to these feelings. They are not you.

Ultimately, you seek to find yourself again. At that point. You can decide what you need to do to save your M.

Hang tough.

BITS

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.