The hardest thing in DBing is getting great progress, but it still doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel like enough--especially for a woman--and having serious 'obstacles' like someone else trying to stop you from having your happily ever after. It's harder than saying, cross the line here, and you're done.
But expecting total immediate change immediately isn't realistic 100%. There is a point where it is realistic for you to want and 'expect' him not to be involved with her again. For you to not expect him to be human and fail ever, may not realistic, and when you may be near to a complete reconciliation, HOW you handle this is crucial because YOU DO play a part in these interactions.
Quote:
"I need you to cut all contact with OW(he was still talking to her via text) and he said that he would do that.
This was good
Quote:
I called him out on the email and he gave me a tale about it being "closure."
This was not a good 'excuse' on his part but more part of his confusion, hurt and grief. It's not 'ok' but it's not unforgivable, it is understandable, and you can get past it. You have every right to be hurt, angry and reactive. It won't get you what you want, and as fast as you want it.
The following article gives you a way of looking at the situation (although the examples in the article may seem more trivial than what you are living with). If you look at it as your husband loves you but has a bit of an illness, and he needs to heal, you would have a much different reaction than if you assume he's a jerk in love with another woman. You will react per each perspective you put in your mind. Actively choose the positive perspective and don't let anyone sway you if you want to heal this.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
