When life hands you lemons add alcohol and stir!

[mishka422]

Michelle, I never looked at it that way. My view toward our R is still that this is temporary and when he finds a better situation he'll leave. I think I'm afraid to think any other way because I feel it might kill me for sure this time when he does leave.

He hasn't given me any reason to think he's going to leave. He's been nothing but helpful and loving. He's never been one to express his feelings so I don't expect him to. His actions definitely say, "I'm here loving you and want to stay with you." My self-protective wall just won't even crack! Scary!

Wii,I think I can get that book for my Kindle (I'm SO bad with libraries!). I should do it ASAP. Maybe it can help me focus and let a little light through that wall.

Kat, I have been making sure that I tell him how much I appreciate things that he has done for me but I'm thinking I need to rephrase that to tell him that it makes me feel loved. That is a good idea. Appreciation is not nearly as powerful as letting someone know how their action made you feel.

[MichelleLT]

I know. That's why I had to point it out. I'm evil like that.

You and I both know that you are strong enough to survive and thrive on your own. Loving is always a risk, but if you don't take the risk, you can't reap the rewards.

Besides, you are such a beautiful soul he'd have to go completely crazy again to ever think about leaving! (((Mishka)))

[whatisis]

Mish, getting the book through Kindle is a great idea, you only pay $8 and you can read it right in front of his face and he'll never know it!

[mishka422]

Another weekend is upon us.....sigh......

[naej]

Thanks for your good wishes Mish, I had a quick scan of your thread and it seems like you and Gabe are still together, you are still doubting and he is still staying. Not sure what you want from him other than masses of love and reassurances that he will never go awol again ? Do we ever get that and if we did would we loose the doubt?
Maybe do what I am doing just go with the flow enjoy it for now.
Maybe it is different when its the same man who left when you start a relationship again but I know I will never go through the pain I did again. I am not the same person.
I am strong, I am woman, hear me roar ! whoa sorry got abit carried away there.
Do hope it all works out for you and you relax and enjoy the what is.
Guess I will go back to my new life now. Take care x

[kat727]

Naej, glad to hear that things have changed for you. Nice that you have met someone and sound happy. What is it they say, when you are least looking for something you find it?

Wish you had a thread so we could check in with you.

Hugs, kat

[mishka422]

School starts a week from tomorrow and I find that I am starting to stress about it. The money involved in school fees, the constant stress of trying to make sure Marc gets his work done (which I never know until I see the report that he has missing work), and his more frequent freak outs when the other kids start to pick on him and tease him. It's going to be exhausting as usual.

Gabe is still looking for work and striking out left and right. He is so frustrated and upset that I feel he is going to give up completely any day now. My funds have completely run dry and I'm trying to sell stuff but no one is buying. It's getting pretty scary. I don't know how people handle this for years at a time.

Fingers crossed and prayers sent skyward that I can come up with a solution soon. I'm really getting tired of spaghetti and ramen!

[MichelleLT]

Sorry to hear that you have a lot of stress right now. No fun!

Maybe since Gabe is still looking for work he can take over more of the school responsibilities?

But on the other hand, *fingers crossed* he gets a job asap! I am sure he is very frustrated and upset, definitely understandable.

Spaghetti and ramen, ah, reminds me of college. And law school.

[mishka422]

Well, let's just put the cherry on top of the situation. Gabe's car finally died. He has been dragging it along for the last couple of years but today something major blew. All the electrical went out and it was smoking bad. It's caput. This is making things more and more complicated by the minute!

[MichelleLT]

Well....the nice part about this is it puts stuff in perspective. Makes the smaller stuff seem pretty small.

Time to donate it for the tax write-off I suppose.

At least Gabe will be getting lots of exercise....