betterman, here are just a few things that stick out to me that may help paint the picture for you on where you need to go.

Quote:
She told me that when she said that she was testing me to see if I did the right thing by her and the kids and I be the one to move out.


What angered her here is she set an expectation, and then that expectation was not met.

Now, why did she have this expectation?

For one reason or another, she expected you to be the one to roll over.

Something to think about.

Quote:
Well she's told me she has NO respect for me at all


This relates to my point above. The two go hand in hand.

Quote:
GAL is the one thing where I have not excelled at DB'ing. I haven't had MY time in so long I wouldn't know where to begin. I have put so much energy into the kids and my M that I have been neglecting me.


And finally, maybe another idea.

People respect others who respect themselves.

IMO, this is your focus.

Build yourself back up.

Strong, confident, compassionate.

I haven't read the book gr8 has referred you to, but from what I understand of its premise, it sounds perfect.

Good luck.

BITS

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.