Mr. gr8, good to see you man, been a while.[/quote] I have been LIVING and enjoying the summer!
[quote]Guess what? I finally get it
WOO HOO! I have noticed your posts lately. You have come a long way.
Isn't it nice to finally be where you are?
I signed my acceptence letter this week from stbx's L.
What I found funny was that there was a line item in the divorce complaint stating the plantiff(stbx) has the option to request MC. That made me laugh.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
We are not responsible for others happiness. appiness comes from within. The same goes for unhappiness. It's not you, it's her . She is deciding to be unhappy when youre around.
I just spoke with my IC and she said the exact same thing. My W is looking for others to make her happy when she should be finding it on her own.
My IC who also happens to be her sisters MIL knows exactly the type of person she is. She's a matyr and always plays the victim. She's told my W that she should be in C too because she's a very unhappy person and that won't change until she can help herself.
I do know one thing. I think I am ready to let her go. I have put in so much work over the last year to make myself a better person that I can now look in the mirror and be happy with who I see but also know that I did everything I could to try and save this M. If she wants to walk then there's the door.
There is a difference between knowing the path & walking the path. – Morpheus
It took that one final kick in the balls, but it was worth it
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What I found funny was that there was a line item in the divorce complaint stating the plantiff(stbx) has the option to request MC. That made me laugh.
Now that is funny
Sorry to hijack betterman.
Listen to this guy!
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
She's told my W that she should be in C too because she's a very unhappy person and that won't change until she can help herself.
Change has to be an internal decision. You W will never be unhappy untils she decides to make the change.
My final statement to my STBX was: You need to go to IC if you would ever like my friendship in the future. hard boundary, but it is in place and I enforce daily.
Listen to me???lol
I'm passing along what others have taught me. I add personal experiences as they apply.
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I do know one thing.
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I think I am ready to let her go.
I have put in so much work over the last year to make myself a better person that I can now look in the mirror and be happy with who I see but also know that I did everything I could to try and save this M. If she wants to walk then there's the door.
Have her things packed and set them by the front door. Next time she gives you grief about anything show her the way. I have seen this work.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
It just happens one day. As I told CS, one day all the advice clicks and aligns with the stars. That's when you have the AH HA moment.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I appreciate all you have said to me so far GR8 and I will use your advice where I think it will apply to my situation.
For now I'm just looking forward to the weekend with the kids and to not have her around. It will be nice to clear my head and to not have to walk on eggshells.
There is a difference between knowing the path & walking the path. – Morpheus
I THINK am ready to let her go. Be confident in your statements. I AM ready to let her go.
You're right I AM ready to let her go. I am ready to detach myself from this whole situation. Right now my main focus is on the kids and myself and to act happy and as if when I'm around her.
There is a difference between knowing the path & walking the path. – Morpheus
Please, get a copy of hold on to your nuts. This book will help. You will never thave to wlak on egg shells around your W or anyone else. It's a quick and each read. 3-4 sittings(In the john) should get you to the end.
Yes, youre right. Focus on the kids and being the best dad to them. They are watching and learning about relationships by your actions. have the satisfaction to know your kids will have healthy Rs int he future b/c you decided to make a change. Have a great weekend.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
