I get that bit about feeling being scary... It took me a long time to allow myself to be comfortable with allowing myself to feel and be vulnerable...
But it gets easier... and it's enlightening...
It took me a long time to be able to "turn off" the thinking... like I said, I was never diagnosed, but I wonder some times... I also never took an IQ test... because I just didn't want to know that I had to "live up to" being smart...
I think that practicing feeling in a safe environment and allowing yourself to be vulnerable... it's a good thing... just be sure to do it in small doses... until you get used to it... I'm guessing you're more likely to harm yourself than anyone else... not good, but the better of the two evils... don't beat yourself emotionally up if you have trouble with it...
See, the thing is... you actually DO have feelings... shame is a feeling... anger is a feeling... feeling out of control, is a feeling... you just lock them down so deep, because they scare you... that's OK... let them out a little at a time... play with them... feel safe with them... they're fun... once you get used to them....
And as far as DOING... I know you're going to think about this for a little while... but let me just put something out there for you... have you ever been walking down the street, after a rain... and you see that puddle on the street... and you wonder... about the puddle... and how much water is in there and how it ripples from the wind and noise vibrations... the rainbow of colours in it from the oils on the street... and as you're walking by it... suddenly... you just JUMP IN IT!!!!
Sometimes... it's OK to do FUN things, just because... and in your case, doing something harmless and fun... regardless of the consequences of dirty clothes or your W being upset because they need to be washed... you just DID something... without thinking about it for longer than a pico second...
