I'm off to see The Wizard

[Telemark]

I'm sorry, DG. I so know how you feel about looking where you shouldn't be looking. My W assured me 3 separate times she was done with the OM/EA but I "found out" otherwise.

Ouch.

Time for you to let go? Probably.

Pursue a D? Not so much.

I don't think you want to be the one to declare your marriage DOA yet ( I could be wrong, of course...). But I know that feeling: we're the only ones trying to save our M's, the rejection and loss of love by our S's is intensely painful, the lack of any physical contact or intimacy is difficult and frustrating, there must be someone out there who will love us the way we deserve to be loved...it feels like we're trying to push a rope up a hill.

You can move on but still leave the door open. It would be sad if you / I / we called it quits only to realize later that if we gave things more time they would have come around.

Am I suggesting you stay in this uncertain place forever? Absolutely not. But I did read somewhere to give these situations a year before making any hard decisions. For some people, that is an impossible amount of time. Others may see it as easy. Each of us sets our own timetable and only we know when it is finally time to end things.