Six weeks ago my wife sent me an e-mail threatening divorce. I called her right up and basically let her have a peace (pun intended) of my mind about the whole situation, and reminded her that no one but her and her EA partner created this whole mess (emphasis on the last 2 years).
I was sure I had pissed her off enough to file divorce papers like...the next day or something...but she did nothing for six weeks.
A few days ago I get a second e-mail from which rambled on and on about how 'this mess has been going on for 1-1/2 years' and 'I have to get on with my life!' and asked me to meet with her in person because "we need to talk".
So, I meet her at lunch and ask her to to say what she wants. She says, "We need to talk." but doesn't say what she wants to talk about. (even though I know) So, I 'innocently' ask, do you want to talk about divorce, custody, money, what do you want to talk about exactly? Her initial response was, "I don't understand why you keep hanging on to our marriage. I feel really sorry for you. I told you already I'm never coming home ever again! You know, I feel very happy with my life right now. My co-workers are very proud of me that I've managed to live on my own for 1-1/2 years already.This thing has been dragging on for a year-and-a-half already! I need to get on with my life!!"
In my brain I'm like, "Hellllloooooooo, reality? Are you in there?"
Soooo anyways, again (like six weeks before...but in person this time, I reallllly let her have it (in a polite but firm way) I reminded her that this separation would not have dragged on so long if she had not moved out in the first place, that no one but her and her EA partner created the mess over the last two years, and that my heart is always open for forgiveness and the door always open for her to come home, as long as she does not try to introduce her EA partner into our kids lives. In a nutshell (and I said this to her) I told her that I've made countless mistakes over the years, but that she has made plenty of her own over the last two years and that she basically needs to grow up and own up to her own mistakes.
The whole time I'm talking she kept her head turned away from me and her eyes turned downcast towards the ground. I know this woman very well. She was ashamed to look me in the eyes, and in that moment I realized that one [likely] huge reason she resents me is because I've always been unafraid to challenge her throughout our marriage, and try to make her see things about herself she doesn't like.
In any case, she tells me, "I'm going to hire...uhhh...I'm seeing a...uhhh... lawyer. You should do the same."
I don't know how to interpret these actions/words from a few days ago, especially the part about seeing a lawyer. I certainly can't afford one. I'll have to represent myself if it comes down to it. Part of me wants to dismiss them as more MLC babble. My gut tells me she is cycling again through some major depression. The bells in my head are telling me that something recent (last 2-3 months) has triggered these latest episodes. Who knows?
