I have been married for 10 years where there has been alot of arguing and bickering. My wife and I have an 8 year old boy with mild to moderate autism. He's a great kid. We lived in Southern California for the first 7 years of our marriage. My wife wanted to move to her home state the entire time that we lived in California. When I finally agreed to move to the South East so my wife could be near her family things went from bad to worst. She began spending alot of time with her sister who has never cared for me and my wife became angry, critical and bitter saying that she hated our marriage and she started to say that she wanted a divorce last September,saying that I never helped her with our son (not true) and that our marriage was a "farce."She said taht she never felt cherished. I tried to become the nice guy which seemed to help a little at first but my wife seemed argumentative all the time and more blaming. She sought out the advice of a female Pastor who told my wife that if I didn't attend the Church tthat I was in denial and that my wife should immediately leave me. Along with this her sister encouraging my wife to leave me. About two months ago my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. I then again became the nice guy and she said two weeks later that she had changed her mind and wanted to work it out if I went to a counsleor alone.
About two weeks later my wife had read an email that I had sent to a mutual friend saying that I wish that my wife didn't have such a bad temper and she blew up and started to scream that she wanted a divorce. She filed divrce and wants me to sign the paperwork now. She has since signed up for a singles website and has several online relationships with other men. I have been very mad and told her off and told her that she is nothing but a women on the make.I finally called DB and spoke to a coach and that has helped in that we no longer argue but i am no closer getting back with her and her sister really doesn't like me at all and tells my wife that if she even thinks of getting back with me that she will disown her. My wife blames me for all the problems in the marriage and that I am the blame that we fougght all the time. I will admit that I was notthe easiest person in the world to get along with and there have been times of financial instability due to the busines that I was in but that is over in that I changed careers and got a fairly decent size inhertiance. Please advise. My wife wants me to signt the final divorce papers and said that there is absolutely no hope that we will ever get bhack together. She knows it is going to be hard for her financially but doesn't care.
"Someday we may look back on this and decide that Saving Private Ryan was the one decent thing we were able to pull out of this whole godawful mess."
"Helpful friends and family"... yes... they are so interested in seeing the WAS happy, they often validate the negativity, adding and embellishing, so that the WAS feels better... the results of that...? not good much...
How did she get the divorce papers drawn up so "quick"? Did she have a L in pocket ready to do the paperwork? Did she use "joint" money or her money? That doesn't really matter, just wondering as many people don't easily come up with the money for a L...
As far as that goes, you need time to review the docs and should be retaining your own L. You W should respect that. You'll have a deadline to respond and all that great legal stuff. It will cost, but you don't have to just agree to a D on her terms...
My son has what is called "autistic spectrum disorder" but it has been speculated lately that he may have Aspergers. He does speak and he understands alot but he has the typical meltdowns an autistic kid has. He is a really good looking kid with red hair and is well liked by other kids. I am going to take him to a progrma in Houston that has had amazing results helping autistic childen communicate much better.
My wife has a friend who is a para-legal and her friend drew up the divorce papers for only 300 dollars. I showed up to the office to sign the paperwork and the paralegal added that my wife wanted a 25k check immediately and I refused to sign. Both my wife and her friend the paralegal began telling me off and saying that I was nothing more then a selfish S.O.B. I simply said that I wwanted to think about it speak to a legal person and my wife became very upset. My wife really can't stand me and neither does her family. I never hit her I never drank and I always tried to provide. This is not the person whom I married. I don't know what has happened to the sweet girl that I knew at one time.In Mississippi if both people don't agree to the divorce the court will not grant it unless one of the two of the spouseaccuses the other of adultry or abuse. I guess these are old laws.
"Someday we may look back on this and decide that Saving Private Ryan was the one decent thing we were able to pull out of this whole godawful mess."
I do have time now, as I just got a call from my spouse. I asked her if she took out the request for the 25k, that I would sign in that everything else looks fine. She said that she didn't want to talk about it. She called to tell me our son had to go to the hospital due to a stomach virus. I am heading up there now. I guess I have some time now to DB. I did use some of the prinicples that the coach gave me the other day such as being humble and longsuffering, but my wife said," You are being alot nicer today, I hope you are being nice to be amicable for our son's sake and not thinking that you and I are going to get back together because we are not going to." I wanted to tell her off but I didn't. I simply said, "I understand why you might think that." I left it at that.I am going to do another coaching session tomorrow.
"Someday we may look back on this and decide that Saving Private Ryan was the one decent thing we were able to pull out of this whole godawful mess."
